teaching consent
Teaching Consent to Children: Why It Matters at Every Age
Consent isn’t just a concept for adults or romantic relationships. Teaching children about consent from a young age builds a foundation of respect, safety, autonomy, and empathy. When done thoughtfully and age-appropriately, consent education empowers children to protect their boundaries, understand respect, and navigate relationships more safely as they grow.
Below, I outline how consent education can evolve through the stages, from early childhood to primary school, and into early high school, and why it’s both necessary and doable.
What Is Consent (In Child-Friendly Terms)
At its simplest, consent means asking permission before doing something that affects another person’s body, space, or privacy, and accepting their answer.
It means:
Checking in before touching (hugs, pats, helping with clothes)
Respecting “no” or “not now” (even if you asked before)
Recognising that consent is ongoing (just because one thing was okay once doesn’t mean everything is always okay)
Understanding that some people (especially kids) cannot legally consent to certain things (e.g. sexual activity) under Australian law
Because children grow and develop, consent education needs to evolve with them.
Why Teach Consent Early?
1. Children Need Protection & Agency
Even toddlers can learn simple consent lessons: “Do you want me to hug you?” or “Is it okay if I wash your face?” Teaching body autonomy helps protect children from unwanted touch and gives them language to express discomfort.
2. Brain Development & Trust
Early learning shapes how children relate to others. When a child’s boundaries are respected, they internalise that their body is theirs to control and that others’ bodies deserve respect.
3. Gaps in Current Practice
A 2021 survey by Act for Kids found that less than half (44%) of Australian parents, carers, and grandparents had been open with children about consent. Yet 89% of adults said it was their responsibility to teach it . The same report found that 69% of Australians believed adults shouldn’t need permission to touch children, showing a misunderstanding of body autonomy.
4. Prevalence of Abuse & Harassment
Around 2 in 5 victims of sexual assault in Australia were aged 10–17 at the time of the first incident. 1 in 5 women and 1 in 16 men in Australia have experienced sexual violence since age 15. Studies suggest that up to 9.4% of Australian men have admitted to engaging in sexual behaviours with someone under 18 while they (the perpetrator) were over 18. In New South Wales, public schools in 2023 reported 799 incidents of harmful sexual behaviour, nearly double the prior years.
These numbers highlight that abuse and boundary violations are not hypothetical; they are real risks, especially for younger people.
Consent Education at Different Ages
Early Childhood (3–6 years)
Use everyday, concrete examples: “Do you want a hug?” “Can I help you dress?” “Is it okay if I brush your hair?”
Teach correct anatomical names for body parts (not just euphemisms) to reduce shame and improve clarity.
Primary School (7–12 years)
Reinforce asking and respecting permission in everyday actions: borrowing belongings, editing photos, adding to group chats.
Introduce digital consent: always ask before posting photos of others, forwarding messages, or tagging.
Early High School (Years 7–9)
Introduce affirmative consent (clear, voluntary yes) and ongoing consent (checking in).
Teach about coercion: guilt-tripping, repeated asking, threats, social manipulation.
Important Legal & Cultural Notes in Australia
The age of consent for sexual activity is generally 16 years in most states (except Tasmania and South Australia, where it is 17).
Children under the age of consent cannot legally give informed consent to sexual activity. Any such activity is considered abuse.
Many jurisdictions include close-in-age exemptions (so that young people near each other’s age may legally consent).
There are laws across Australia against creating, possessing, or sharing sexualised images of minors (commonly referred to as sexting laws).
In many relationships of authority (teacher-student, carer-client), any sexual behaviour is never acceptable, even if consent is claimed.
Best Practices for Parents, Schools & Educators
Start early and build up, consent education should be age-appropriate, incremental, and reinforced over years.
Use inclusive, non-heteronormative language so that all children feel seen.
Make the discussion normal and ongoing, not a one-off “girls/boys talk.”
Encourage questions and curiosity, and create safe spaces for students to reflect or step out if needed.
Consent Is a Lifelong Skill
Consent education isn’t only about sex. It’s about respect, autonomy, communication, and kindness. Teaching children and young people about consent at every stage helps them build safe relationships, strengthens their ability to protect themselves, and nurtures a culture of respect.
If we start early, stay consistent, and adapt to age and context, we can raise generations who understand that yes means yes, and that “no” always deserves respect.
References
Act for Kids. (2021, August 30). New research highlights importance of teaching consent at an early age. Retrieved from https://www.actforkids.com.au/news/new-research-highlights-importance-of-teaching-consent-at-an-early-age
Australian Institute of Family Studies. (2021). Age of consent laws. CFCA Resource Sheet. Retrieved from https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/sites/default/files/publication-documents/2104_age_of_consent_resource_sheet.pdf
Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2020). Consent and sexual violence. Retrieved from https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/understanding-fdsv/consent
Consent.gov.au. (2023). The issue. Australian Government. Retrieved from https://www.consent.gov.au/the-issue
Daily Telegraph. (2023, April 27). NSW schools warn parents to be vigilant as porn, child neglect and DV fuel rise in sexual incidents. Retrieved from https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/new-south-wales-education/nsw-schools-warn-parents-to-be-vigilant-as-porn-child-neglect-and-dv-fuel-rise-in-sexual-incidents/news-story/522784eb266eb125a0d4da6ee0f1f981
Guardian Australia. (2023, November 20). Child sexual abuse study finds 9.4% of Australian men report having offended against a child. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/nov/20/child-sexual-abuse-study-finds-94-of-australian-men-report-having-offended-against-a-child
Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network. (2023). Consent laws in Australia. Kids Health. Retrieved from https://www.schn.health.nsw.gov.au/kids-health-hub/growth-and-development/sexual-health-kids-and-teens/consent-laws-australia
