I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT
Last night was my first run since I was chased and assaulted by a drug-affected man during an evening run last week.
Last Thursday, at around 6pm, I was standing outside the Queens Wharf Hotel in Newcastle, NSW, preparing for my run and checking my running plan on my phone. Without warning, a random man began yelling abuse at me, calling me a “bitch” before attempting to grab me and chasing me through the car park.
Thankfully, my partner was with me and was able to intervene. Several bystanders also stepped in to help and called the police. Officers later arrived and arrested the man.
In the days since, I’ve sat with an overwhelming sense of anger. Not only because this happened, but because I had done everything women are constantly told to do to stay safe. I chose a busy location. I went somewhere well lit. I wasn’t alone. I even had a man beside me. Yet despite every precaution, I was still targeted.
That is the reality of gender-based violence.
It is not prevented by women making the “right” choices. From a young age, women are taught to modify our behaviour in the name of safety — don’t walk alone, don’t stay out too late, stick to busy areas, share your location, stay alert, carry your keys between your fingers. We are conditioned to believe that if we are careful enough, cautious enough, prepared enough, we can protect ourselves from violence.
But violence is not caused by women failing to take precautions. Violence is caused by perpetrators.
Yesterday, on my first run back, fear ran beside me the entire time. I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder, flinching at shadows, and panicking whenever footsteps came too close behind me. Something that once made me feel strong suddenly felt unsafe.
And yet, I will continue to run at night.
Not because I am fearless, but because I refuse to let the threat of male violence dictate my life. Women should not have to make themselves smaller to survive. We should not have to surrender our freedom, our routines, or the spaces we occupy because of the actions of violent men.
Women deserve to exist safely in public spaces — and in all spaces. We deserve to move through the world without fear. And we deserve a society that demands men stop perpetrating violence in the first place.